Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
