butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
