a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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