you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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