Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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