and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
