Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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