Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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