what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
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Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
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Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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