I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize