i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
