plz talk dirty to me
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
