He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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