Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
