we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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