Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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