i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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