hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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