So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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