Do you still have your period?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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