I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
