i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize