It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
