New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
