Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I need to wash the frat house off of me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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