I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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