My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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