So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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