You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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