the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
