What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize