We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
