This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am one with the molecules
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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