Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
