I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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