Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
