I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
