we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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