i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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