are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
