The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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