i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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