I wish i was in the wii world.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
