I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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