she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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