you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
