I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize