So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
is it fun? or sober?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
