I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I will be naked everywhere
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
