I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
