I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
