if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
