He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize