i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
