i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
