Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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