I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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