My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize